Posts by Sugar Shane

33

Need to vent: My loathing for the JW cult increases more and more, while my wife clings more and more to it

by goingthruthemotions in

just as i think my loathing for the jw cult has peaked, it goes higher and higher.

i wish this cult would just go away.

i wish my wife would just wake up.

Sugar Shane

Yep. It's hard NOT to get angry. I just try not to let her pull me into an argument. I simply make my case (financial decision, life choices, ect.), and try to get her involved in the decisionmaking process, as a Captain might consult the 1st Mate. If she resorts to "but you always ______," or "you never ______." Then I take the British 'stiff upper lip' approach (I'm actually American) and tell her sternly, but without yelling, that if she doesn't want to be a team player, then I'll take what course of action I deem necessary, and execute it. Again, as a Captain would do in exercising his/her authority. Upon making such a statement, I'll usually leave the situation and let things cool down. Not backing down, but not getting sucked into an argument either. Going to my bud's house to help him work on his old Mustang is theraputic as well. And it also shows her that I have my own life outside of hers.

It works for me...but admittedly, it's not a one size fits all solution. Having a special needs child involved ain't easy. I can attest to that. Blessings to your daughter, zeb.

33

Need to vent: My loathing for the JW cult increases more and more, while my wife clings more and more to it

by goingthruthemotions in

just as i think my loathing for the jw cult has peaked, it goes higher and higher.

i wish this cult would just go away.

i wish my wife would just wake up.

Sugar Shane

I even help her get ready sometimes if she is running late.

I used to be the same way. I'd even do the dishes, or laundry when she was busy at the assembly, or going door to door all day.

These are called 'caretaking' behaviors. There's a difference between caretaking and helping out around the house. Does she change the oil in the car, or mow the grass when you work overtime? I'm willing to bet the answer is "no." Not saying there aren't some ladies who would do this, though.

Caretaking is when you do things to please her, hoping she'll recognize your 'nice guy' attributes. Cleaning, sweeping, helping her get ready for assemblies, ect. I learned my lesson, and finally just took on a philosophy that rhymes with "bucket." Just insert an F.

Instead of helping her get ready for assemblies, join the Rotary Club or something. You do YOUR thing, while she does HERS. Next thing you know...dishes stop piling up, & laundry gets folded.

Get your own group of non-JW man friends, if that's possible. Hang out with them sometimes. She'll get it after a while, that your not an appeasing doormat to be walked all over. It worked for me, but I'm not a JW, never have been. So, I'm not subject to the elder's wrath if I form 'bad associations.'

Check out the books I referenced earlier in this thread. Women...I think there are some things in there that would help you as well, esp if your married to an uber-JW elder type yes-man. I've found that many of them are 'nice guys' in the sense that they live to please the ORG. In other words, they take the caretaking role to the other extreme, of putting the ORG first. I think alot of women in this situation can 'MAN UP' in similar ways that the guys can. Good luck & be strong.

I try hard to keep the peace.

And that's the problem!! Stop trying to keep the peace. Stop walking on eggshells. Be your own man on your own terms. But, do what's RIGHT. Like Mr. Walton. Not to sound like a goddamn commercial, but I strongly recommend you read those books I mentioned. Another one is "Hold on to your N.U.T.S. (Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms). " different author, but right on the mark.

33

Need to vent: My loathing for the JW cult increases more and more, while my wife clings more and more to it

by goingthruthemotions in

just as i think my loathing for the jw cult has peaked, it goes higher and higher.

i wish this cult would just go away.

i wish my wife would just wake up.

Sugar Shane

As someone else alluded to, you should strive to be her 'rock.' Keep an even keel. Do what's best for the family...unconditionally, like the Walton's dad.

I was in a similar situation. The book "Iron John," helped me to start to sort things out. Then, "No More Mr. Nice Guy," by Dr. Glover helped tremendously. Gave me a sort-of template upon which to build. Not a magic bullet, but something that pays off if you put the effort in. Like the Jesus analogy of "give a man a fish" vs "teach a man to fish," if that makes sense.

I like the 'red pill' idea too, as long as you can combine it with copious amounts of non-JW time. Surprise her with dinner out (without asking her)...just do it..or perhaps you're already doing that. Any kind of romantic 'take charge' stuff should help.

50

2016-2-17-Destroy Previous S-77 Forms!

by Atlantis in

these numbers and letters:--gbr659967--are the only identifying markson this boe..the "informant" who sent it said:.

"this letter came through the congregation inbox and so hasn't got theusual identifying information.

the name of the file is probably thebest way to identify it.

Sugar Shane

My apologies if my post appeared to downplay the molestation issues. This wasn't my intent at all. If you read my other posts, you'll see that I'm pretty furious at the attempts they've made at covering up child molestion. I'm on your side here.

I had just finished looking at all the forms posted by Atlantis, and I had a "WTF!?" moment. All those silly forms with designation codes, like the "S-77" form, and those ridiculous blue colored envelopes.

I do agree, that ANY form, even a table napkin, which includes notes on abuse, should be taken deadly-serious by law enforcement authorities anywhere. I really wish the Feds here in the US would investigate the JW leadership. Confiscate their hard-drives, ect., then start locking those bastards up in Rikers Island!

Sugar.

50

2016-2-17-Destroy Previous S-77 Forms!

by Atlantis in

these numbers and letters:--gbr659967--are the only identifying markson this boe..the "informant" who sent it said:.

"this letter came through the congregation inbox and so hasn't got theusual identifying information.

the name of the file is probably thebest way to identify it.

Sugar Shane

WTF is up with all this 'secret squirrel' bullshit?!

I'm not a JW, so from my perspective, it seems like they view themselves as equal, or similar to a government agency. What a crock! I have filled out various government forms in the past, such as the US Nat'l Agency Questionnaire, and other forms for civil service. My employment has not required a confidential or above security clearance, but I'm pretty familiar with the screening process.

The distinction is, that these Gov't forms actually mean something, and they carry the weight of the law-- such as when you file your taxes.

These JW elders, and their higher ranking members seem convinced that their little system of forms and BOE letters equates to some kind of official, important, high-level, secret correspondence. Maybe that's the case within their little fishbowl. But, for those of us on the outside looking in, it just looks pathetic.

116

News Flash: New Reveal Article

by Sugar Shane in

less than an hour old:.

https://www.revealnews.org/blog/how-child-sex-abusers-get-reinstated-as-jehovahs-witnesses/.

Sugar Shane

My only point is that in the US, as any other church does (good or bad), the WT is entitled to church/ penitent privilege based on present SC interpretation of the 1st Amendment.

....above quote from Fisherman.

Can you please cite a US Supreme Court decision, or interpretation which holds that the Jehovah's Witnesses system of judicial committees actually qualifies as clergy/penitent privilege? Or, have the JWs recently adopted a Catholic-styled, one-on-one clergy/penitent system?

i was under the impression that the SC had previously interpreted clergy/penitent privilege as being an act of confession, held privately between two individuals: the penitent, and clergyman. Also, I believe that similar language exists in the Federal Rules of Evidence. Furthermore, I had always thought that the Jehovah's Witnesses do not consider themselves to even HAVE a clergy-class to begin with! I'm not a JW, but this non-clergy distinction has been made to me before on many occasions, by JWs with whom I've met.

I'm only asking, not attacking. Thanks.

116

News Flash: New Reveal Article

by Sugar Shane in

less than an hour old:.

https://www.revealnews.org/blog/how-child-sex-abusers-get-reinstated-as-jehovahs-witnesses/.

Sugar Shane

Less than an hour old:

https://www.revealnews.org/blog/how-child-sex-abusers-get-reinstated-as-jehovahs-witnesses/

8

JW elder in Oklahoma, USA...now in JAIL!

by Sugar Shane in

ronald lawrence has been in the news before, though it was believed that the statute of limitations would keep him from being charged as a criminal.

i stumbled across this the other day.

trey bundy did a report on one of ronald's victims, but it looks as though more have stepped forward since.

Sugar Shane

AndersonInfo, thanks for the clarification.

Also, thanks to former victim/s for chiming in. It's gotta be hard recounting that experience. I have kids of my own, so hearing this stuff just pisses me off to no end. Just stay strong please. I love 'Okies,' and that's unconditional. My grandparents were from Checotah & I spent many a summer on Lake Eufala.

I hope the former victims have an Irwin Zalkin, or similar, on their side.

Peace out, SS

8

JW elder in Oklahoma, USA...now in JAIL!

by Sugar Shane in

ronald lawrence has been in the news before, though it was believed that the statute of limitations would keep him from being charged as a criminal.

i stumbled across this the other day.

trey bundy did a report on one of ronald's victims, but it looks as though more have stepped forward since.

Sugar Shane

Cool, I'm in!

8

JW elder in Oklahoma, USA...now in JAIL!

by Sugar Shane in

ronald lawrence has been in the news before, though it was believed that the statute of limitations would keep him from being charged as a criminal.

i stumbled across this the other day.

trey bundy did a report on one of ronald's victims, but it looks as though more have stepped forward since.

Sugar Shane

Ronald Lawrence has been in the news before, though it was believed that the statute of limitations would keep him from being charged as a criminal.

I stumbled across this the other day. Trey Bundy did a report on one of Ronald's victims, but it looks as though more have stepped forward since. This, in turn, must gave gotten the attention of law enforcement, who investigated, and found him guilty on nineteen (19) counts of abuse!! This broadcast is from last fall, as far as I can tell. I could be wrong, but hopefully someone from that area knows more about the case.

I'm not a JW, but I know those who are. So, I guess I don't have a dog in this fight, in a direct sense. Despite this, I get mad as hell hearing about all the abuse and attemtps to cover it up.

If I were in this part of the USA, and a former JW, or a current 'thinking JW,' then I would send this link to any and all current JWs that I could. Even if it meant using an anonymous email account. Give 'em a day to click the link, then send a follow-up email, with something like,"apostate driven lies, MY ASS!!"

Hell, if any of you want to PM me with some emails, then I will send it off for you!! Just might take me a while to get to it, because I work alot.

Here's the link, now get off these discussion boards and DO SOMETHING about this! Hell, you might even send this link to news outlets in nearby cities. I'm guessing Tulsa? Okla. City? I'll bet they'd like to sink their teeth into this, in light of the assemblies, ect. which are hosted in these larger cities:

http://youtu.be/S5ZCpnEpcj8